Jul. 31, 14

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"Should parents read their daughter’s texts or monitor her online activity for bad language and inappropriate content?" 

etherealzephyr:

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Earlier today, I served as the “young woman’s voice” in a panel of local experts at a Girl Scouts speaking event. One question for the panel was something to the effect of, "Should parents read their daughter’s texts or monitor her online activity for bad language and inappropriate content?"

I was surprised when the first panelist answered the question as if it were about cyberbullying. The adult audience nodded sagely as she spoke about the importance of protecting children online.

I reached for the microphone next. I said, “As far as reading your child’s texts or logging into their social media profiles, I would say 99.9% of the time, do not do that.”

Looks of total shock answered me. I actually saw heads jerk back in surprise. Even some of my fellow panelists blinked.

Everyone stared as I explained that going behind a child’s back in such a way severs the bond of trust with the parent. When I said, “This is the most effective way to ensure that your child never tells you anything,” it was like I’d delivered a revelation.

It’s easy to talk about the disconnect between the old and the young, but I don’t think I’d ever been so slapped in the face by the reality of it. It was clear that for most of the parents I spoke to, the idea of such actions as a violation had never occurred to them at all.

It alarms me how quickly adults forget that children are people.

Apparently people are rediscovering this post somehow and I think that’s pretty cool! Having experienced similar violations of trust in my youth, this is an important issue to me, so I want to add my personal story:

Around age 13, I tried to express to my mother that I thought I might have clinical depression, and she snapped at me “not to joke about things like that.” I stopped telling my mother when I felt depressed.

Around age 15, I caught my mother reading my diary. She confessed that any time she saw me write in my diary, she would sneak into my room and read it, because I only wrote when I was upset. I stopped keeping a diary.

Around age 18, I had an emotional breakdown while on vacation because I didn’t want to go to college. I ended up seeing a therapist for - surprise surprise - depression.

Around age 21, I spoke on this panel with my mother in the audience, and afterwards I mentioned the diary incident to her with respect to this particular Q&A. Her eyes welled up, and she said, “You know I read those because I was worried you were depressed and going to hurt yourself, right?”

TL;DR: When you invade your child’s privacy, you communicate three things:

  1. You do not respect their rights as an individual.
  2. You do not trust them to navigate problems or seek help on their own.
  3. You probably haven’t been listening to them.

Information about almost every issue that you think you have to snoop for can probably be obtained by communicating with and listening to your child.

Part of me is really excited to see that the original post got 200 notes because holy crap 200 notes, and part of me is really saddened that something so negative has resonated with so many people.




Jul. 31, 14

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shoujo-addict:

T h e  A v e n g e r s


via shoujo-addict
tags: #whoa


Jul. 31, 14


Untitled #13 by twohipsir featured in audrey hepburn outfitsBoohoo dress / Yves Saint Laurent motorcycle jacket / Giuseppe Zanotti platform pumps / Moschino shoulder bag, $905 / Oscar de la Renta rose earrings / Gold jewelry
Untitled #13 by twohipsir featured in audrey hepburn outfits


Boohoo dress / Yves Saint Laurent motorcycle jacket / Giuseppe Zanotti platform pumps / Moschino shoulder bag, $905 / Oscar de la Renta rose earrings / Gold jewelry



Jul. 31, 14

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foryoursexualinformation:

housewifeswag:

this is more education about your vagina than you’ll receive in a US public school system so. read up! men too!

I love this infographic!




Jul. 30, 14

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Jul. 30, 14

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"Write an entire monologue with your main character if you have to. Spend a chapter just exploring the life story of an antagonist. They don’t have to be scenes in chronological order. They don’t even have to end up in your book. But they will help you to keep going.

Because you must keep going. Just a little more. You are stubborn. You are exhausted. You are determined. You are a Writer."  - marielubooks, on making it through the dark swamp. (via lettersandlight)




Jul. 30, 14

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pastel-locks:

Dolce & Gabbana Spring/Summer 2014, Hair Details + Hair colored




Jul. 30, 14

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Matilda (1996)

Dir. Danny DeVito

"Everyone is born, but not everyone is born the same. Some will grow to be butchers, or bakers, or candlestick makers. Some will only be really good at making Jell-O salad. One way or another, though, every human being is unique, for better or for worse."




Jul. 30, 14

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Jul. 30, 14

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"Why this fascination with the woman who doesn’t know she’s beautiful, the idealization of low self-esteem? It orients the singer as a savior — the sensitive soul whom this girl, who has been slaving away day in and day out in front of a mirror that just won’t reveal the beauty she longs to see, desperately requires. These aren’t songs for young men, who, theoretically, could listen and reconsider their standards of female beauty. These are songs for girls who get the message that insecurity has romantic value, if only because it’s the necessary setup to the grand moment in which they find the boys who — god bless them! — finally pull them out of it.

By all means, write songs about how beautiful women are. Write songs about how beautiful men are too! (Incidentally, if you’re unsure how specifically gendered this trope is: Try to imagine a song in which a female singer says just how much she wants to make a guy “feel beautiful.”) But don’t assume we’re uncomfortable in our skin just because we dress it up when we present it to the world. Don’t tell us we don’t know we’re beautiful, and certainly don’t tell us that our ignorance to this fact is our best quality. We’re good."  - Let’s Stop Singing Songs About Women Who Don’t Know They’re Beautiful (via brutereason)




Jul. 30, 14

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"We assume others show love the same way we do — and if they don’t, we worry it’s not there."  - Everyone has their own love language. That’s one of the most important lessons I’ve ever learned. (via stay-ocean-minded)




Jul. 30, 14

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Myers Briggs By Superpowers 

readingontheroof:

INFJ: Visions of the future
ESTP: Superhuman strength
INTJ: Immortality
ESFP: Ability to freeze time
INFP: Literary manipulation
ESTJ: Power negation
INTP: Omniscience
ESFJ: Healing powers
ISFJ: Visions of the past
ENTP: Dimensional travel
ISTJ: Photographic memory
ENFP: Reality warping
ISFP: Shape shifting
ENTJ: Mind control
ISTP: Invulnerability
ENFJ: Empathic powers




Jul. 30, 14

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zenpencils:

MAYA ANGELOU ‘Phenomenal Woman’